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Thursday, 14 July 2011

Compo Term 3 Package- opening paragraph(using speech)

Eliza-

“Hurry!”  I said with excitement. As my neighbour and I rushed  to play basketball. While we were rushing, “Bang!” a motorcyclist had knock down a kind old man and sped off! I was scared about the motorcyclist. The kind old man was groaning in pain loudly on the road flat as a pancake. A pool of blood around him and everybody was shocked. Someone can an ambulance to bring to kind onld amn to the hospital. Before the ambulance, some people help the old man to safety. I was very worried about the old man so I help the old man too.

7 comments:

  1. Clement-How do you know it is a kind old man?

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  3. Eliza- There are errors in this sentence 'Someone can an ambulance to bring to kind onld amn to the hospital.'

    The first error is 'Someone can an ambulance' the error was 'can'. Its 'called' not 'can'.

    The next error is 'to bring to' the error was 'to'(the 'to' is after the 'bring'). Its 'the' not 'to'.

    The last error is 'kind onld amn to the hospital' the error was 'onld amn'. Its 'old man' not 'onld amn'

    Sorry

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  4. Bryan Yee: Who is the someone?

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  5. Shi Han: Why you and your neighbour need to quickly go to the basketball court?

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  7. Eliza-
    (Answer for Clement's question) The old man has been helping and was kind to the people.

    (Answer for Bryan's question) The someone is anybody around the incident.

    (Answer for Shi Han's question) It was my first time to play basketball and i was excited.

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